Thank God. I mean it, thank God that Congress has finally passed health care reform that will lead us down the path of a single payer system. It is about time. Of course it makes absolutely no sense for corporations to be providing health insurance to their employees. Of course it makes sense for the government to instead be providing this health insurance to its entire population. It is about time that all of these numskulls in our legislative branch have finally extracted their pea-sized craniums from their rectums and come to this conclusion, that a single payer health care system is the most logical and fairest system possible.
I do not think that I can adequately express in words just how tremendous and important this development is. It cannot be stressed enough that this is perhaps the single most significant development in the history of the United States of America short of the election of President Taft. Oh, you doubt my sincerity because of my reference to the election of President Taft; widely regarded as perhaps the most “do nothing” President in the history of the United States. Oh contraire. Without a Taft Presidency, there would have been no 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution, which created the income tax. And without an income tax, the federal government would never have been able to grow to the size where it could even consider giving universal health care to its citizens.
So, now that this whole health care issue will finally be resolved, the country can finally…FINALLY…get on with much more important business. I know, I know, what could possibly be more important than a single payer system that provides universal health care? Simple, a single payer system that provides Universal Wage Care.
What is Universal Wage Care? Think of it as taking the pearl of truth and hope that is Universal Health Care to its logical conclusion. The concept is simple enough to understand. Since it makes zero, zilch, nada sense for corporations to be furnishing health care to their employees and every conceivable sense for the government to be providing such health care, then it also follows that it makes similarly idiotic sense for corporations to be providing wages to their employees and eminently more sense for those wages to be solely provided by the federal government.
Think about it, if it makes sense to provide a government option in order to increase competition in the health insurance industry and keep all of those greedy, capitalistic health insurance companies honest, then it makes just as much sense to provide a government option for wages, thereby keeping ALL companies honest. You see, the problem with corporate wages is essentially the same as with health insurance. Just as greed causes health insurance providers to overcharge for their premiums, similarly, greed causes corporations to undercharge for wages. By providing a government option for wages, backed by the full faith and credit of the United States government, corporations would be forced to pay employees what they are worth versus underpaying those employees.
With a government wage option, the government could pay otherwise productive workers more than they currently make for simply doing nothing, forcing corporations to pay those employees more, or risk losing their employees to the government wage care program. And, since we all know that “all men are created equal” then this entire notion of a doctor being “worth more” than a janitor can be eliminated. We are all members and contribute to the same society, of course we should all make the same amount of money.
How do we pay for it? Simple. We make the entire system revenue neutral by increasing taxes on corporations as well as the wages themselves. Sure it is circular reasoning, makes no sense and simply defers the real cost of the program to future generations, but if we have the votes in Congress to do it, why on Earth wouldn’t we? And if the program runs into trouble, we simply print more money. This is the United States government for crying out loud, what harm could come from creating more money out of thin air?
Once Universal Wage Care is passed, we will finally, FINALLY, be able to realize the progressive American dream started back in 1913 with the ratification of the 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution of everyone making the EXACT same amount of money! Sure, it will take decades for all of those greedy corporations to lose all of their employees and go out of business, but the end result is inevitable once a government option exists for Universal Wage Care. Hooray for Obama and Pelosi, the Progressive American dream is finally at hand!
Originally published April 2010