Future Shock

OK Boomers…It’s Time to Retire

Retirement is great. In fact, there may not be anything more fantastic in the entire world other than retirement. Consider the benefits:

  • Reduced stress – Think of how stressful having a job is, the need to meet deadlines and perform to a high standard day after day, the anxiety of dealing with customers and bosses. Retirement means that all of that goes away!
  • Healthier – After you retire you have more time to eat healthy, sleep and exercise. Finally you will have the time to take long walks and play golf. You will live longer by retiring earlier!
  • Philanthropy – Use the experience and wealth you have accumulated to volunteer, make charitable donations and serve on the boards of not for profit organizations. Truly make a difference in your community and in the lives of others!
  • Family – Reconnect with your adult children and grand children. Spend more time with distant family members and even close friends. Remember, “Where there is family, there is love.”

In other words, retirement is a golden opportunity to define a new and better you by getting your priorities straight and living the life you were meant to live. You can spend more time on hobbies, travel to exotic lands and pursue those interests that you never had time for when you were a working stiff. To paraphrase Greg Gutfeld:

“Retirement is great. Retirement is great. Retirement is great. Retirement is great.”

Look, you can’t see us right now, but we here at The Objective Observer all have these huge grins plastered all over our faces. We really believe in retirement and how wonderful it is. In particular, we really think that the vast majority of Senators, Representatives, pretty much anyone and everyone in government should strongly consider retiring…now. Like, right now would be good.

Look, U.S. Census Bureau data shows that the average retirement age in the United States is 65 for men and 63 for women. Now consider that 48 of 100 Senators are over the age of 65 and 147 of 435 Representatives are over the age of 65. Consider that Democratic House leadership averages 72 years old. Face it, all of you people should be retired already. Just go enjoy life and get the hell out of the road.

Not to be “ageist”, like that’s even a thing, but ya’ll are old and out of touch with, well, everything. Watching you trying to deal with the unprecedented power Big Tech has amassed is like watching that Progressive Insurance ad where Dr. Rick states “We going to open a PDF now, who wants to try?” and everyone backs away. It’s just so cringe and embarrassing. You’re simply out of your depth and lack the wherewithal to properly address the real issues going on in the world today. Seriously, it’s like a real world study in that Alvin Toffler book, Future Shock. The leadership of today is like walking around in this dazed and confused psychological state induced by “too much change in too short a period of time”.

And why oh why are you all having so much trouble with this pandemic we might add? Didn’t you all survive the black death? And the Spanish flu? Just use the knowledge you learned then and apply it now for cryin’ out loud. But you can’t even accomplish that!

Again, we’re not calling you senile…well…not most of you anyway. It’s just that you are out-of-touch and stuck in the past. We mean, literally stuck in the past. This whole “race relations” thing? It’s a throwback to your hey days. Nobody cares about it. It certainly isn’t top of mind for most Americans so why does the Biden administration keep bringing it up? Why does Biden seem to think that race is the thing that is most important to deal with versus a freaking pandemic and the usurpation of power by Big Tech…


Oh shit, there it is. Look at what was going on when Biden was a teenager and in his early 20’s. Yeah, certainly looks like there was a major race problem then. And now he thinks its some kind of repeat of his “glory days”? Wise up people, America today is nothing like the civil rights era of yesteryear. There is no Martin Luther King Jr. leading peaceful marches and protests. Today we have Antifa and Black Lives Matter groups rioting and burning and looting. Not equivalent. Get it together grandpa.

Oh look, seems like Obama made race relations worse…

Anyway, for the sake of the country. Please, all of you, retire already. Don’t be remembered like Brett Favre’s last few, sad seasons after leaving Green Bay or Mike Tyson biting someone’s ear off. Go out gracefully. Leave at the top of your game. Seriously, it’s better for everyone. We really want you to be happy but, more importantly, we want ourselves to be happy. And you are totally and completely screwing that up right now. Boomers, it’s time to go.

Author: theobjectiveobserverblog

Always go with funny...

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