Wasn’t Me

With Apologies to Shaggy

We here at The Objective Observer sometimes like to put our thinking caps on and attempt to puzzle out the really hard questions. The latest question we have been pondering is exactly why conservatives and liberals constantly seem to be each other’s throats and find it nigh impossible to have a productive conversation on just about any important policy issue. Well, the good news is that we believe we have cracked the code on this one and it is all thanks to a Shaggy song, It Wasn’t Me.

Now, of course everyone knows this but It Wasn’t Me is a reggae song by Jamaican-American artist Shaggy from the multi Platinum album Hot Shot. The song reached number one in the United States as well as the UK Singles Chart in 2000. In short, the lyrics tell the tale of a man being caught “red-handed” by his girlfriend while he is having sex with another woman. The man asks his friend for advice and that advice is to simply deny everything, regardless of any and all clear evidence to the contrary, with the phrase “It wasn’t me”. The most memorable bit of the song is perhaps it’s chorus, which goes like this:

But she caught me on the counter
(Wasn’t me)
Saw me banging on the sofa
(Wasn’t me)
I even had her in the shower
(Wasn’t me)
She even caught me on camera
(Wasn’t me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder
(Wasn’t me)
Heard the words that I told her
(Wasn’t me)
Heard the screams getting louder
(Wasn’t me)
She stayed until it was over

OK, clearly this dude is screwed in more ways than one. But how pray tell can a two decades old song by Shaggy help enlighten us as to why conservatives and liberals can’t have a simple, civil conversation you might ask? Well perhaps we watch too much Juan Williams on The Five, but the answer seems rather obvious to us. You see, we can almost always predict Juan’s answers when another one of the hosts lays out something blatantly obvious that the left has done wrong. Invariably, the template of Juan’s response goes something like the following:

“Well, you can talk about xyz if you want to, but the real issue here is…”

or

“I’m not sure I understand your point, but the real issue here is…”

And then Juan invariably goes into some liberal talking point that may or may not be related to the issue at hand or the original point being made. Seriously, you can bank on this format of a response at least once or twice per show.

Now look, we’re not here to pick on poor ol’ Juan. We love Juan. Well, there is one person here who doesn’t but that guy is kind of a jackass anyway. The rest of us feel that Juan has the absolute most gigantic balls of any Democrat by far because he will actually go on a show dominated by four other conservatives, at least two of whom pull absolutely zero punches, and hold his own. So, mad respect Juan.

Watching this tactic by Juan got us thinking though and we started watching more closely to news and opinion delivered by MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, you name it. And everywhere we turned and watched we couldn’t find a single instance of any Democrat ever admitting fault for anything, or even admitting that one single member said or did anything wrong. It was incredible. Like some kind of herd or pack mentality or perhaps even a genetically bred inability to admit anything even resembling a mistake. And before you go flying off the handle about The Objective Observer beating up on poor liberals, we absolutely understand that conservatives also deflect and all that. But it’s the frequency and consistency with which Democrats engage in this behavior that is the difference. It’s staggering. Democrats and liberals literally will not concede a single point no matter how much anyone stares at them “buck naked…on the bathroom floor”.

So, what is the point of all this, what can we learn? Well, what we have learned is that dumbass conservatives need to stop thinking that they are going to win an argument or make a point by mentioning something wrong that liberals have done or think that highlighting some kind of hypocrisy on the left is going to score them points or something. Because, frankly, it’s not going to do them a damn bit of good or help make the two sides see eye-to-eye. You simply can’t shame the shameless.

Perhaps Shaggy said it best:

They caught us lying to FISA
(Wasn’t me)
Saw us spying on Trump y’all
(Wasn’t me)
Stolen election by Russia
(Wasn’t me)
Impeached over a phone call
(Wasn’t me)

Killing nursing home patients
(Wasn’t me)
Loot and riot in the street
(Wasn’t me)
No cabinet posts for Asians
(Wasn’t me)
Erasing women complete

Author: theobjectiveobserverblog

Always go with funny...

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